by me
now now, would someone be willing to tell me why these 2 things are so irresistible. to be more specific tell me why they are my weakness, my guilty plessure, besides, of course warm choclate chip cookies will a full ice cold glass of milk. why? what about these 2 (3) delicases holds the capacity to fill my empty soul? and why do they have to be so calorie dense?
I quite literally live off coffee, mint juul pods (im a simple, old fashioned gal) and pastries filled with chocolate, almond and pepporoni. imagine how it must feel to live a life free of reliance, cravings, desires. it must be somewhat freeing, but also, what the fuck is the point in that? you see i often get down on myself for craving certain foods, even people for that matter. but why? what inside me thinks it’s inherantly bad to crave and want something? something filling, dense, packed full of despair and dread? what could be the harm?
is it self sabotage? hmm potentially.
but i’m often faced with a battle in my own head. there are 2 sides of my brain fighting. 1 side, is “proanna nation” lana del rey edition, and the other side is a healing spiritual angel giving me an abundance of kale and white beans. which shall be the winner? which shall i choose?
but why, why, why, why can i just not eat?