It took me a while to understand that attempting to fill the void with various processed carbs, such as cookies, cakes, and pizza, always leads to the void widening, becoming a gaping black hole. Truth be told, at first, I didn’t even realize I was trying to fill anything. But no matter how much I ate, I always wanted more.
When I say “starving the void, ” I don’t mean starving yourself. No, no. I’m trying my best not to romanticize diet culture and anorexia. Although I can’t lie, something about that empty feeling gets me going. Anyway, what I mean is drying yourself out. You know, like alcoholics do after yet another weekend of taking things too far? Yep. Dry yourself out, and deprive your body of what it “really wants” (pizza, cookies, and all that other crap). After a few days of eating kale and blueberries, you’ll realize that it’s almost always never about the food. It’s about the temporary feeling of being complete when the void seems so distant and far from you. Yet when you wake up in the morning, it’ll be right there, gnawing at your insides.